


Wide Awake

by winterwaters



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 2x05, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Raven POV, mother hen Bellamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2710118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterwaters/pseuds/winterwaters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-2x05. Raven watches as Clarke tries to cope with the aftermath of Finn's actions, while Bellamy hovers until he can't take it any longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wide Awake

**Author's Note:**

> Post 2x05, wishful thinking.

Raven was in her tent when she heard multiple footsteps pass by. Peeking outside, she saw Byrne and Abby headed for the gate, followed by several guards. She grabbed her cane - she still couldn’t believe she had a freaking _cane_ \- and headed outside as quickly as she could.

By the time she got closer to the gate, the guards had already formed a semi-circle, blocking her view. Cursing silently, Raven hobbled the long way around the tents, finding a spot along the makeshift fence where she could crouch and see everything. From her new vantage point, the group’s backs were to her, but she could already make out Clarke and Bellamy’s stiff postures as they stood facing the adults. It was a far cry from their joyous reunion only two days before. Octavia stood on Clarke’s right, but she wasn’t paying attention to anyone. Her face was turned towards the woods, clearly distressed.

Beyond them stood Finn and Murphy, tired and disheveled. It was strange to see even Murphy looking so concerned. But it was Finn who kept drawing her attention. His eyes stayed mostly on Clarke, though she wasn’t looking his way. The more Raven watched, the more she noticed the separation between the two of them, how Clarke was almost leaning away from him. Bellamy stood directly behind her, gripping his gun so tightly that Raven imagined his knuckles were probably white by now.

The look on Finn’s face was a bit nauseating, as she’d expected it to be, but there was something more going on here. His gaze didn’t just hold the care and awe she’d come to recognize - there was something off, an odd glint in his eye that hadn’t been there before. He was also clearly unaware of what was going on around him. Murphy had to tug on his arm three times before he looked away from Clarke. She still wasn’t meeting his gaze. 

Something had happened out there - something that they were all adamantly avoiding bringing up. Raven ground her teeth. Hell if she was going to let them keep secrets from her. 

When Abby and another woman stepped forward to take the two boys to medical, Raven thought it was done. But then a guard moved to take Bellamy’s rifle, and both he and Clarke took a step back. Octavia didn’t move, but her gun wasn’t by her side anymore. 

Bellamy shook his head. “Not this time.”

Clarke glanced from Byrne to her mother. Even though Raven couldn’t see her face, she knew she was daring them to try. Her left hand drifted back, hovering near the gun tucked into her waistband. 

“Let them be,” Abby said finally. Byrne looked at her, clearly disapproving, but Abby held firm. The guards stepped away, and Clarke and Bellamy shared a quick look. Was that relief? Raven’s curiosity was gnawing at her.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she jumped, glaring up at Wick. As usual, he was unfazed. He grinned and crouched next to her. “You look like you should have some popcorn,” he whispered.

“Shut up,” she hissed. “And don’t talk to me about _popcorn_.”

Wick chuckled, but stayed quiet.

Turning back to the group at the gate, Raven watched as the guards took Finn and Murphy’s weapons. They surrendered them without a word, and she was confused as to why Clarke let it happen. Hadn’t she been ready to fight seconds ago to keep her own gun?

Then Finn stopped walking for a moment and turned back, moving towards Clarke, and an even odder thing happened. 

Clarke backed away.

It was only a step, barely enough to give a second thought to, except it had happened. She had backed away… from Finn. He stopped, clearly wounded. She made no move towards him, and after a tense moment, he let himself be lead away. 

Raven watched Clarke carefully, seeing the rise and fall of her shoulders as she sighed, how her hands trembled slightly before she clenched them into fists. Unseen by most, Bellamy’s hand came to rest on the small of her back. It wasn’t guiding or forceful - simply supportive. Clarke bowed her head and they stood like that for a moment.

Octavia smiled sadly at her brother and headed into the camp.

Eventually, Clarke looked up at Bellamy. “What now?”

He shook his head uncertainly. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Raven spotted Clarke sitting alone outside one of the tents, poking at a small fire. She made her way over slowly, tapping her arm with the cane as soon as she was close enough. Clarke looked up, a real smile appearing on her face as she got up to hug her. When Raven settled down, she got a proper look at her friend’s face.

Besides the usual weariness that she always seemed to carry, there was a marked sadness to her now. The dark bags under her eyes were pronounced, offset even moreso by the redness of her eyes - from crying or lack of sleep, Raven wasn’t sure. Her whole posture, normally so welcoming and open, was now closed off. She sat curled upon herself, hugging knees to chest, her head bowed. As if the weight on her shoulders was finally becoming too much to bear.

Raven saw all this in the few moments that they sat quietly together. But she couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“You look like hell,” she finally said lightly.

A corner of Clarke’s mouth lifted. “Better than you.”

“Not possible,” Raven smiled at her, but it faded quickly. “It’s been three days since I saw you, and you don’t look like you’ve slept at all.”

There was a haunted look in Clarke’s eyes when they finally met hers. “I’ll sleep when everyone else is safe.”

“I thought that was my line.” 

They both looked up as Bellamy sat down on Clarke’s other side. He’d been speaking to both of them, but he was looking at Clarke, who offered the tiniest of smiles in response. 

“Hello to you, too,” Raven said. “So, which one of you is going to tell me what’s going on?”

Bellamy’s eyes drifted to Clarke, who was steadily looking at the fire and not speaking. But Raven wasn’t so easily deterred.

“Look, I know you’ve got Abby and the others up your ass and I get that. But I can’t help you unless I know more. What the hell happened out there?”

“I’ll tell you,” a female voice said. Raven turned to see Octavia striding towards them. “What happened is that Finn decided to go on a rampage in Lincoln’s village,” she said, and proceeded to detail what the three of them had found, adding in the details she’d gotten out of Murphy.

Raven listened in horror, for once struck speechless by the words coming out of the other girl’s mouth. Her mind couldn’t process that Finn - kind, peaceful Finn - had shot up a village full of unarmed people. But one look at Clarke’s miserable face told her that it was the truth. 

Octavia finally took a breath, then opened her mouth to continue angrily.

“Octavia.” Bellamy cut in. When she and Raven looked over, he nodded at Clarke, who was once again curled in on herself. Her eyes were shut tight, and her nails dug into her palms.

Octavia’s face softened slightly and she said quietly, “I’m sorry.” But she was apologizing for what had happened more than anything else. 

Clarke nodded briefly, wrapping her arms around herself. They were all silent for a few minutes as Raven processed everything. Clarke seemed to shrink in on herself even further, and Raven finally understood why she’d seemed so undone earlier. And why Bellamy had constantly found a way to stay near her all day.

There was nothing she could say that would help. Nothing anyone could say. This was next-level crazy, and she had no idea what came next.

Finally, Bellamy rested a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. When she looked up, he said, “If you’re not going to sleep, I could use your help in mapping out the interior of Mount Weather.”

She nodded gratefully, and they were up and gone in moments.

Raven looked over at Octavia. “Is that necessary?”

She smiled sadly. “For Clarke, yeah, it is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later, nothing had changed. Clarke still walked around with invisible bricks on her shoulders, Bellamy hovered like a mother hen, and Octavia and Raven watched from a distance and did what they could to help out.

Clarke was everywhere - helping patients in medical, drawing maps with Bellamy in the evenings, discussing tactics with the others. It wasn’t healthy, and she looked even worse with each passing day, but Raven knew it was her only way of coping without going crazy herself. Still, she was going to have to find a way to rest soon, or she would be the next patient in medical. 

And from the looks of it, Bellamy wouldn’t be far behind, either. Raven often saw him standing or sitting near her long into the night, as if he could be her silent guard through it all. She nearly snorted at the thought, then decided he might make quite a good knight for their princess, if he wanted to. She hadn’t missed how he’d looked at Clarke in wonder a few days ago, after she tackled him in a hug. Whether he’d admit or not, he cared. He cared very much.

Meanwhile, Finn had been under close watch the entire time. They had eventually told Abby what had happened in the village, though it was an abbreviated version of the story. But it was enough to keep Finn locked up most of the day. Clarke avoided him as much as possible, and the rest of them followed suit. Even Murphy was wary of him - and that spoke louder than anything else.

She, Octavia, and Clarke were by the fence when Bellamy found them. 

“Your mom said you’re needed in medical.” 

Clarke dropped what she was doing. “What is it?”

He shook his head. “Don’t know. She just said to come get you.” 

She was puzzled but agreed to go anyways. Raven looked at Octavia in time to see her exchange a look with Bellamy before he took off after Clarke. 

“Abby and Bellamy never talk,” Raven said suspiciously.

“I know,” came the reply. 

Catching the small grin on the other girl’s face, Raven pounced. “What do you know that I don’t?”

Octavia’s grin widened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Clarke followed Bellamy around the camp, expecting him to head inside towards medical. When he skirted the entrance instead, she paused.

“Wait, aren’t we going this way?”

“No, she said she put them in a separate tent for privacy.” He shrugged, turning to go, and she hurried to keep up.

It was odd of her mother to do that, but then again, she was overly cautious sometimes. Clarke bit back a yawn as they headed around the bulk of the Ark station. Stopping outside one of the smaller tents, Bellamy held the flap open and stepped aside.

“After you, princess.”

She rolled her eyes and stepped in, though the old nickname sparked a tiny grin all the same. Just as she registered the tent was empty except for a cot, Bellamy’s arm caught her around the waist, drawing her flush against his chest. “Sorry about this,” he said, and there was a quick pinch at her neck.

Clarke felt the effects of the sedative within moments. She swayed, unsteady, and his arm tightened around her. “Easy. This is strong stuff.” 

Her head dropped to his shoulder, resting against his jacket as she spied the needle in his right hand. “Where… where did you get that?”

“Your mother.”

“Mom? But she doesn’t like you,” she yawned.

Bellamy chuckled. “Trust me, it’s mutual. But we found something to agree on.” He lifted her gently in his arms, carrying her to the cot in a few long strides. “You need to rest,” he said firmly. “If this is the only way, then so be it.”

She shook her head, trying to fight the drowsiness. Grabbing his jacket, she tried to pull him closer. He sat on the edge of the cot and leaned over. “What is it?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I _can’t_ ,” she explained. “Whenever I close my eyes, whenever I let myself relax, something bad happens. I see those cages inside Mount Weather. I see Anya. And now, Finn. What if he- What if… what if something worse happens while I'm here, sleeping?”

Understanding dawned on Bellamy’s face, and he dropped his forehead to touch hers. 

“So that's what it is? You think something else will go to shit while you’re out?” When she didn’t respond, he sighed. “You can’t save everyone, Clarke.”

“I can try,” she muttered, and he laughed. Clarke smiled, pleased. His nearness was doing strange things to her pulse. Even though the medicine was making her sleepy, Bellamy was somehow having the opposite effect. Her body was confused.

There was a light touch on her cheek, and she forced her eyes open again. Bellamy’s gaze was steady. “You told me once that you needed me.” He paused. “Well, that’s a two-way street, princess. I need you at your most incessant, pain-in-the-ass 100 percent if we’re going to help the others. And that’s not going to happen unless you take care of yourself.”

“I’m not half as much of a pain as you,” she yawned again, prompting a grin from him.

When he started to pull away, she got a hold of his jacket again. Before she could ask, he sat back down on the cot, this time shoulder to shoulder with her.

“Be that as it may, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.” He gave her a lopsided grin and set his rifle against the wall.

“Promise?” She asked. Everything was starting to fade.

“Yeah, princess. I promise.” The last thing she felt was the brush of fingers over her hair. “Now get some sleep.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Octavia rounded the camp, Raven on her heels. She’d waited as long as she could, but when Bellamy hadn’t returned, she had to see for herself that their plan had worked. When she reached the small tent, she motioned for Raven to wait and keep watch.

Lifting the flap, she peeked inside. And smiled.

Her brother sat on the edge of the cot, his back to the wall and his eyes closed. Clarke was curled on her side, fast asleep. Her head rested on his shoulder and her right hand had a firm grip on his jacket. 

Octavia let the tent flap close again, giving a thumbs up to Raven as they switched places. Raven snuck a look and clapped a hand over her mouth to hide her chuckle. Shaking her head, she came back over to Octavia.

“About damn time,” she said, and sat down in front of the tent. Octavia crouched next to her, determined to give their friends a moment of peace among the chaos.

 


End file.
